The wit and wisdom of the outrageous Brigit Brat
reprinted from the Compost NewsLetter
Lammas 1993: THE BRIGIT REPORT
Good Drug/Bad Drug
Bad Drug: After doing a talk show in Los Angeles, the host tech and myself were relating our various drug stories, when one of the techs asked if we would like to trip on this wonderful organic hallucinogen known as Datura. We said sure! We piled into his car and drove to a field, where he pulled out a machete and hacked up a lovely little bush with white flowers. He told us to make a tea of the non-waxy leaves. It smelled and tasted like canned spinach (which evoked horrible memories of my mean old gramma).
20 minutes later, we all felt slightly euphoric and then lost all motor skills. We all spent most of an hour trying to contain Kent, who was determined to walk (or should I say fall) about the crammed one-bedroom apartment. Suddenly things changed shape, and other people were in the room with us. At this point I realized I was hallucinating wildly.
What amazed me was how absolutely real these hallucinations appeared. Strange twisted space alien dolphin/eraserhead baby smiled at me with a look of omnipresent compassion. I spent an eternity looking at a fat old lady in pink Reeboks sprawled out on the futon, wondering "when did she get here?" When Scott and Felina walked in from the kitchen and looked at this apparition and then Felina turned to Scott and asked, "Do you think we should take Grams home now?" this set off all my alarms! My fellow trippers were responding to the same hallucinatory images as myself.
Datura is used by North and South American Native Americans as a dream/vision quest drug. My theory of its operation is something like this: The contents of your subconscious (dream brain) are suddenly 'ported over into your conscious (waking brain), and suddenly your dream world is alive in your living room. If that isn't enough, your subconscious is fully capable of linking with other subconscious brains (Jung's collective unconscious), so you have a compounded Third Dreamworld crowded with images you can't understand. But wait, it gets worse!
After several hours of nightmarish intruding hallucinations, we all blacked out and got up and went somewhere. I don't remember any of this, but my friends found me in the alley in fetal position, crying, and Kent busily petting an oil spot on the neighbor's driveway, thinking it was a friend who had been squashed by a steam roller. I woke up, grabbed Vylet, got into the car and drove to Tara and Jeremy's ( I left Kent because I was still mad at him for stepping on my hair during his house exploration/wrecking phase of the trip). I was talking to Danielle and Robbie during the drive, and then I realized they were in San Francisco. This was 18 hours after we took the drug -- definitely the Energizer Bunny of the hallucinogenic world.
The full trip lasted between 18 to 28 hours with about a two-day period of seeing ghosts and hearing people's thoughts (completing their sentences and such). Recovery time was approximately 2 weeks. Bottom line: Absolutely the single worst experience of my life. Stay away from this drug; mushrooms and acid are much more fun. Warning: I was very fortunate to have only tried a small, weak portion of this herb. Too strong a dose produces heart failure at the end of an awful trip.
Good Drug
Estrogen: I'm not kidding; this has to be the perfect "Gothic" drug. Since I have been on estrogen I have experienced sudden fits of melancholy, weight loss, depression and a few radical mood swings. This is also a first-class excuse and defense when you want to vent at your asshole roommates. Believe it or not, you can actually score these off the black market. Be sure to get estrogen and not progesterone (which can be nasty to your cardiovascular system). I recommend to all males inclined to try this form of gender travel that you start with a low dose (.625 mg. Premarin in pill form). A low dose such as this should not interfere with the normal operation of the male genitalia; a high dose of course will.
Warning: if you are going to do this, I recommend you be in good health, have a therapist to check your sanity dipstick, and be very patient with yourself. Many "girls" go completely mad from jacking themselves up on huge doses because they want tits RIGHT NOW! If having a female or She-male body is important to your sanity, it is best to attempt this transition in a slow methodical manner so you can keep your sanity for your new body.
The first four months are the hardest. You will be more susceptible to colds, and probably go through periods of short temper and occasional crying jags. Real girls are generally the best confidantes in situations such as these (they have been through it in their puberty and can sympathize). Any "manly men" in your life will be shit scared and sometimes openly offended that you are throwing away your manhood (you're not). Oftentimes these men will try to see you as less than a man and less than a woman. Don't let them -- that's their gender hangup, not yours.
End of Trance-mission report
Stardate 29 June 1993 1922pm
Wing Commander Brigit Brat
Starfleet Headquarters
[Brigit Brat, a seven-foot-tall blonde She-male dominatrix, also known as God's Girlfriend, may be familiar to longtime CNL readers. S/he has changed in a few unimportant ways, but is as lovable as ever.---vw]
The lovely and talented Ms. Brat