The wit and wisdom of the outrageous Brigit Brat
reprinted from the Compost NewsLetter
Yule 90
Are you ready to accept JESUS as your personal pimp ?
Oh no, what is she off on
this time?
Here it is: Somebody (mostly
likely a paranoid Xtian wimp at work) sent me 3 J.T. Chick mini-pamphlets
in the mail. I really love these things; my favorite is one entitled
DARK DUNGEONS (dunt dunt dah). Here is a brief excerpt:
Witchy looking woman in black:
"Debbie, your cleric has been raised to the 8th level. I think it's
time that you learn how to really cast spells."
Debbie: "You mean you're going
to teach me how to have the real power?"
Witchy looking woman in black:
"Yes, you have the personality for it now."
This cracks me up!
More:
The intense occult training
through Dungeons & Dragons qualifies Debbie to enter a witches'coven
as a priestess.
Shit! And I waited a year
and a day from dedication, read countless books and attended numerous
rites. If only I had known all it would take to become a priest or
priestess in this religion was play a stupid role-playing game....
In the back of another booklet
there is a yes-or-no answer section asking if you have accepted Christ
as your own personal savior (wasn't that a song by Depeche Mode? "Your
own personal Pan Pizza"... Sorry; tangential expressions.) These zealots
are telling you what you must do, what you must pray, and that you
have to obey and follow the will of Christ as the lord of your life.
They are not only politically incorrect but psychologically fucked
up. Why, hangin's too good fer 'em, burnin's too good fer 'em, they
should be cut in little pieces and buried alive!.... (oops -- a tad
too indignant, my apologies.)
OK, let's really dive into
the psyche of J.T. Chick (bring a flashlight). I've read his full-sized
Xtian comics. Here is what I (with some help from numerous books on
art and dream interpretation) find them to reveal about their creator
J.T.Chick:
• The two heroes in these stories
are well muscled adult males who are always shown undressing in hotel
rooms as they travel around the country. Hmmmm.
• The author/artist is extremely
fond of showing Christ on a stick with enough gore and pain to put Jason
to shame. It is as if the idea of being a tortured martyr is appealing
if not actually a turn-on...
I've got it! J.T. Chick is
a repressed homosexual with an extreme bondage/S&M fetish! Hell, if
that's all it is... Hey, JTC, move out to San Francisco and we'll
help you find a well-muscled gay man who will be happy to indulge
your torture fantasies.
Oh well, I've already given
this maladjusted little twit more attention than he deserves. J.T.
Chick, You're Sick.
Praise the Lord and pass the
KY Jelly.
The lovely and talented Ms. Brat